Doctor's Orders: Fall In Love

“And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” (Surah Al-Ruum, 30:21)

I read in an article today about the feeling of love serving as a pain-killer, even as good as morphine. These results were based on a study on a group of men and women and how they responded to images of their beloved.

One vital piece of information taken from the original article here is:

‘The scientists recruited Stanford students who were in the first nine months of a romantic relationship.

“We intentionally focused on this early phase of passionate love,” said Dr Mackey.

“We specifically were not looking for longer-lasting, more mature phases of the relationship.

“We wanted subjects who were feeling euphoric, energetic, obsessively thinking about their beloved, craving their presence.” ‘

I had always known that spouses were created for men and women both to find equilibrium within themselves. Allah ‘azza wa jall has told us in His own words. Frankly, I’m glad that the rest of the world other than our Ummah is catching on to the things we already know because of our faith.

As Muslimahs, we experience the feeling of courtship after marriage. As I read this article I asked myself, “What would be the first step towards feeling this love, everyday as a wife, bi’thnillah?”

Thinking of myself and the obvious contributing factor towards the happiness in my marriage, I can tell you that by Allah’s grace my life turned around the day I realized the importance of gratitude. You must, you absolutely must focus on all the things that your husband gets right. Start immediately. Grab a piece of paper and write down 6 things that you appreciate about him. The first 6 things that come to your mind, and only make sense to you, is the answer. It could be him respecting your hijab, or being good to your parents or children, anything. Write them down now.

Here lies the clincher. Thank Allah ‘azza wa jall for each of these things in your next salah. Thank Him and he will increase you in all that you appreciate.

For each time you do not want to think of your husband’s good qualities, make that list again, thinking of new factors to add to it. Increase your thanks, and let your husband know the things you are grateful for when he does them next.

You will fall in love with your husband everyday, the more you write what you appreciate, the more you will want to celebrate your marriage with him.

Marriage is not a chore, or a task. However it is a commitment that you make, regardless of who else is involved and how much he puts in. Honor your commitment by thanking Allah for all that you have, and other sisters might want as well.

Make du’a for the sisters who come to mind as you read this post. May Allah give all of us spouses to grow with as better Muslims for this world and the next, Ameen.